THis viral series “Who TF Did I Marry?” recently revealed what happened when TikTok user Talesa “Leesa Teesa” Johnson married a man who was completely different from what he showed himself to be. It was revealed and set the internet on fire. The 50-part series details the lies her ex-husband, whom she calls “the legion,” told her during their 18-month relationship during the pandemic.
Johnson and Legion recalled meeting online and matching with him on Facebook Dating and Hinge. Each of his profiles had a different name, which was probably the first lie in their relationship. What Johnson shares is surprising at times, but it confirms that she was not only deceived, but was also one of a series of victims of the Legion. And with so many ways to create completely fabricated personas online and perpetuate lies throughout relationships, we’re entering a new era of romantic betrayal that heightens the emotional stakes even more. It’s clear what you did.
read more: Leesa Teesa is a born storyteller
Online dating has long been a red flag when it comes to romantic betrayal and deception. There are so many personal stories and documentaries that have shared how people provide false information on dating sites to lure unsuspecting and hopeful targets. I’ve worked with clients who have been scammed or scammed through dating apps, and it’s shocking to hear what they’ve gone through. Unfortunately, these experiences have become the new normal, with dating apps scrambling to identify and remove fake accounts, improve account blocking capabilities, and add user verification steps. But perhaps the more pressing issue is that this type of elaborate fraud can have long-lasting effects not only on someone’s financial health, but also on their mental health.
Anyone who has suffered a romantic betrayal knows how painful and life-altering it can be. In the aftermath of their love story, Johnson reflected on the “red flag United” the Legion showed along the way. She blames herself for not paying more attention, but she’s not alone. We are all vulnerable when we start getting to know someone. Many people ignore or downplay questionable behavior at the beginning of a relationship that can come back to haunt them later on. People are more likely to overlook annoying habits, ignore inconsistencies in stories, and not ask enough questions to maintain a positive perception of a prospective partner. What makes this new type of romantic betrayal so devastating is that after you open up on a dating app, you finally meet someone you feel like you can truly trust (someone who won’t corner you or care about superficial things). Your world is turned upside down by their deception, which causes you to question both the relationship and yourself.
Romantic betrayals have increased tremendously since online communication became the norm in dating, with everything from online infidelity to romantic cheating on the rise. Research on the psychological impact of certain types of digital romance scams shows that the effects of this type of betrayal range from embarrassment and shame to stress and suicidal thoughts. Ms. Johnson admitted that she experienced severe post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a result of the systematic and persistent lies told to her by the Legion. And the strength and consistency of those lies was aided by Legion’s use of technology.
For example, if they only had a landline, it would have been difficult to mask the fact that Legion wasn’t actually talking to his brother every morning. Johnson’s claims to be financially well-off would also have been difficult to convince had it not been for doctored bank documents and images stolen from the internet. And unless he can use his smartphone to lie on multiple dating sites, it would be nearly impossible for him to engage in multiple illegal activities with other women at the same time. Taken all of this together, it amounts to a betrayal on an unprecedented scale. This can have a huge psychological impact on victims, and it’s no wonder that people can’t trust online dating or people in general.
One piece of advice Johnson offers to people looking to date is: “Trust, but verify.” It means approaching the date with an open mind and heart, without smoothing things over. When you’re dating someone who seems too good to be true, it can be hard to realistically consider that they might not be as good as you think they are. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, do a reverse Google image search, or look on social media to see who’s out there. It’s worth interrogating now rather than getting into a relationship with someone who doesn’t have your best interests in mind.
In this age of digital dating, there are many ways to mislead someone. This means there is an increased risk of encountering people using technology meant to bring us together. It’s important that the technology we use catches up and creates a safer environment for people to find love. But until then, it’s good to remember that that doesn’t mean you can’t trust anyone. This means daters need to judge their matches more realistically and be more proactive about making sure the person they fall in love with is genuine.
