When you write to an advice columnist asking for help in a really weird situation, you should expect to get some really weird advice. This is a transitive property of advice formats, as nicely illustrated in the following diagram. the cutThis is his new column.
A novelist posted this in Emily Gould’s advice column “Going Through It.” new york magazine‘s the cut, to seek help for what is clearly a very toxic marriage. TL;DR version: She recently published a new book that “got very good reviews, won several awards, and sold more copies than my other two books combined. The only problem is social media and negative reviews on Goodreads, everyone’s favorite hub for nasty book drama. Although her husband is “very supportive,” I suspect that he is actually responsible for some (most? all?) of the bad reviews.
The reasons are too complex to go into, but I’m beginning to strongly suspect that my loved ones are using various anonymous accounts to post the most negative and cruel comments about this book. In fact, I believe he may be the main source of the hatred directed at me. Perhaps it was caused by jealousy that I had achieved something he could never do.
Sorry, but “because the reasons are too complex to go into”? No, you definitely need to explain in detail. You can’t withhold important details while worrying about clutter. Can you please make these mean comments funny? Something like, “This book is worse than garbage juice and the anonymous novelist eats cookies while chewing with his mouth open in bed”? what do you mean? (Also: my love??? Who is this woman? Count Dracula? )
For those who are still not convinced that this relationship is toxic, I present Exhibit B.
Unfortunately, I’m only 85% sure I’m right. In the past, our marriage suffered when my girlfriend’s husband discovered that I was snooping on his computer and his private stuff. I know that if I confront her husband about the allegations, he will again accuse me of violating his privacy.
I’m not in the habit of taking sides with my husband, but apart from the noticeable lack of detail, a few things caught my eye here. First, the author says that her husband leaving shitty comments on her Goodreads is “likely motivated by jealousy that I’ve achieved something he could never do.” That’s what I think. She won’t say that to her face, but if that’s what she really feels, there’s a good chance she’s not acting on it.he is also a writer and Being a man (double whammy of deep anxiety), he definitely notices it.
Second, she thinks that if she confronts her husband, he will accuse her of remembering him again. That’s just bad logic.He only accused her of going through her stuff. If he had actually left a bad review. Honestly, the advice she needs is right there. But I’m glad she wrote to Emily Gould. Because, as we have already proven, if the problem persists, it is worth taking advice. Emily’s advice: Invade his privacy! ”
If there was a Pulitzer Prize for journalism advice, give it to Emily Gould (emphasis mine).
If you find out that your husband has created a bunch of anonymous accounts to criticize you and your book, you should confront him about it. If he denies it and you have irrefutable evidence, then your marriage is clearly doomed.. If he has no regrets about doing it, he won’t come back from doing what he did. That’s the behavior of a sociopath. in fact, I’m not going to confront him until you siphon the money out of the joint account and find a safe place for a while Until I find something more permanent. This is game over level betrayal. It’s like poisoning your dog or having sex with your sister.It’s like he poisoned your dog. and I had sex with your sister and lied about it. You must immediately get as far away from him as possible. Please file a restraining order! I don’t know what someone who spends that much time on Goodreads can do.
I really need this novelist to have the courage to come forward and reveal himself, and to keep us informed of breakthrough developments in this situation. I would like a receipt. I need screenshots of my husband’s sign-up confirmations from 12 different her Goodreads accounts. I would like a complete transcript (or audio) of her confrontation with her husband. Read the document with a fork.
(Featured image: NBC)
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